And all the walls are falling down, as all the nations praise
And all the world will hear this shout, can you hear the sound of faith?"
All About You - Hillsong United
 
Retreat @ Jiading
People I met: Ruby, Alice, I-Mae, Li-Sha, Lina, Swee Eng, Towaye, Gunther, Sheila, Dave, Thelma (I just can't remember the name of Thelma's husband), Lauretta, Pascal, Elisabeth
Visions: City of God descending from heaven, made of precious stones. We are small green emeralds, all part of the foundation, Pascal to be the fist of God, that he'll face difficulties as he exposes the darkness, that the international church will be a 24/7 house of prayer
 
I've just returned from a prayer retreat @ Jiading, about an hour away from the heart of Shanghai.
I decided to go because I wanted to especially spend some time with God, to hopefully hear His direction for my life, and what should I be doing in Shanghai, if I were to remain here.
 
What I experience instead:
Was a reminder to worship God in spirit and in truth, in freedom - the word being UNDIGNIFIED;
The annointing of the Holy Spirit
A rising faith
 
Of course, they're all intertwined...
 
A focus on worship -
We began all sessions with worship - singing songs to remind our fleshly bodies the reason for the gathering... At the start of the retreat, everyone sat in seats arranged in an orderly manner... by the end of the retreat, people were all over the room and their postures could not be summarised as we were in every possible way, worshiping in FREEDOM.
 
After all, "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand fast therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." Gal 5:1
 
I felt that God was telling me that He doesn't care how our voices sound, just the desire of our hearts. The word "UNDIGNIFIED"
 
You challenged me to be undignified. If King David could be undignified, how can I be less? I love the freedom that Christ has given – which other so-called deity allows for indignity? 

To lose the constraints that define us as adults, that we can become as children again.

Worship in Spirit and in Truth!

Father, help me to be true to you in terms of worship.

We also learnt to soak in your presence.

Lord, grow my faith that I may soak “faster”. I’m like my floor mop, hard as a rock, and I need to be in the waters for a long time even before I begin to absorb.

Really, the trip to Jiading was an exercise of faith.

I’ve always desired a SUPERNATURAL visit from God on high. Wishing and hoping to be slain like the others before me. Concentrating with my will and form as much as I possibly could – wrinkling my forehead/eyebrows/trying to see Jesus, trying not to think too much about the pastor, or look about him, hoping to feel something akin to a jolt of electricity once the pastor “lay hands” on me.

Instead the focus often shifts to his trembling hands and the expectation of the supernatural. And seldom if ever have I experience what I thought was supernatural… not that I’ve never experienced the miraculous, just not the “sensual” experience.

We have a “fire tunnel/sheep dip” experience. Those who were leaders/elders were prayed over and anointed and they formed a tunnel, not unlike, “London Bridge is falling down” but with maybe 8 arches, with the rest of us filing an obedient row behind them. I didn’t know what to expect. Just that I wanted YOU in a REAL way. In what I thought constituted as REAL of course. I know that there are many REAL things that I don’t know/aren’t able to experience.

So as we slowly pushed forward, my mind and heart in a fluster, unsure of what exactly I should be doing besides walking forward – 2 people before my turn, I started to “focus” – concentrate, concentrate, concentrate – on anything that conjures up the image of God or of Jesus. Trying to believe, trying to have faith, to be expectant, to be open, whatever those words meant to me. You know these non-muscular movements are sometimes very difficult to control, I can only will and hope and hopefully the corresponding part in the soul and spirit would activate.

So dutifully, I raised up my hands and tried to receive. The long story shorter, I didn't feel anything and started feeling sorry for myself, and sorry for the people who were praying for me so earnestly. So I started to cry. and walk out of the tunnel. But then I thought, I'm going to try again... and I did. But I still didn't feel anything, except the desire to cry. So I sat down to cry abit. It still didn't feel right, so I queued up to be prayed for again. By now, some people are laughing with holy laughter and rolling on the ground.

I walked through the tunnel again, and again, no "real" supernatual feelings so I give up and decided to indulge in the crying feeling I had. I found myself a quiet place to hide and laid down to cry. I cried out to God saying I want you. I want you so much. I desire you with all of me. By and by Sheila came by to pray for me. It felt good to have her presence close and to hold her hand. Someone laid a blanket on me which was great because I was beginning to freeze - it was winter after all...

After the experience, we went back to our rooms and my roomies I-Mae and Alice both asked what I experienced. I said, well, I guess I felt like crying so I did. But I choose to believe it was the annointing of the Holy Spirit, rather than my own emotions...

The later sessions, someone spoke about the increasing miracles that are happening across China, a child rising from the dead after a serious road accident and the like - reminding me that it is here, that God is moving in amazing ways. (and of course all across the world too)

The next day, Sheila confirmed that she "saw" God all over me. The confirmation felt good, it affirmed me. The experience is something I hold on to, to remember God's goodness.

When I came home, I shared with Franklin everything that I've experienced and felt. And there, in the bareness of our bedroom, he taught me something so simple, yet so earth-shattering, yet something that I should have know from the start - he said,

You know, you don't have to put in any effort to talk to God? It's not because of how well you concentrate or focus, but it's the grace of God that he listens to you. Every little thing you say - aloud or inside.
 
WOW. And all that wasted "effort". Now I try to remember to let go and just say what I want to say without worrying about being in the right posture. I know there's a time for everything, prostrating before God, being serious and worshipful and all that... but the bottomline is. God listens to me and you. Because of His grace and love, not because of your effort.

What a lesson. Thank you LORD!